Save a Couple From Falling Apart: Is This Possible?

Save a couple from falling apart: is this possible? At what point do we stop making efforts to turn the page when a relationship is doomed to fail?

Martine and Peter have therapy. They have been in a relationship for 20 years and have realized that they are in constant conflict. There is a tension which is present every day and their exchanges are more and more disrespectful. Peter thinks it's a question of sexuality, while Martine talks about a couple intimacy problem. She did not want to make love because they fight all the time! "Is there hope to save our marriage?", she asked.

Couples usually go to therapy because they have: consultation and communication difficulties; family conflicts; differences of opinions about raising children; about values; or tension due to sexual problems. Before beginning marital therapy, it is important to review the history of couples and individuals, their life experiences and the hardships they went through together. Therapy also looks at their strengths, the evidence on which they agree and, finally, at difficulties or at what the source of conflict is.

In many couples, the problems are transient or are occurring as a result of special circumstances. In others, the elements of discord have existed since the beginning of the relationship and have been poisoned in time. If the couple has been in conflict for years - 8, 10, 20 years - we must expect the process to be longer.

Tracking that we think can save the couple

When the balance of the relationship is done, it is important that both partners are involved in real tracking. If, therefore, one of them attends the meetings without becoming involved or lies every day, if they are also present at the meetings and we end up with commitments that are never met, the path is quickly compromised.

If there is not a modicum of respect between the partners or lies and deception are part of the relationship from the beginning, it becomes difficult to recover trust in each other.  Trust is essential for emotional reconciliation. To revive confidence and feel a certain admiration for the other, there should be a feeling of love. However, if the values differ and if one spouse keeps things that can have serious consequences for the couple: gambling, alcohol, drugs, sexual addiction, among other problems.  If these issues are never treated because they are hidden or because they are refused as part of the dynamics of the relationship, we must realize that it will become difficult to save the couple.

Many relationships can be preserved. However, many are doomed to fail! A couple deciding to go to therapy doesn’t mean that the couple will be saved. We must face the facts although it is sometimes too late.

Returning With a Ghost

It is said that when a woman leaves a man, she never wants to return, while the boyfriends and husbands that she left on the road, are always swarming around her and appear in the most unexpected situations...

We all know more than one lady who came back with her ex because she still loved him or because she was very afraid of solitude or because the guy in question enjoyed an interesting heritage unlikely to be given up on so easily.

And there must be a thousand reasons more because you cannot generalize the parameters when it comes to women.

Each person has a different concept regarding this situation, a concept which can be deduced after about twenty minutes of conversation on the topic. So, there is The Woman and the universal significance, but when we speak of the human male in general terms, we say without hesitation: the Man.

The Homo Sapiens, is then a symbolic animal, more than expected, and what he says works for everyone. Well, men can be so heavy and hang around, they can cheat and switch to another woman.

This happens because we may not be direct relatives of the monkey, but of the dog and we like hanging around all the brides that we have had from the past and until now.

Another reason could be that some types suffer from purely ideal reminiscences, in which the image of the former is presented in the memory, but it is not real. It is also worth pointing out that men suffer from an unavoidable compulsion to repeat things and something is said to run into the same stone a thousand times.

But if having a trail of single young ladies ranging from 18 to 69 years old, and a wistful wish to continue drinking the soup, it is due to something deeper though not at all original. Men are not like bunnies carrying their carrot around. That is just the appearance.

But what really drives us is the gap behind, that belongs to a preliminary time and we feel lost in the feeling of fullness, in the whole universe and there is a primal pleasure to give up that we have when we put the first diaper.

Since then, the whistle carriers are like the old TVs in the 50's: we operate but with ghosts.

With a ghost, especially one who claims this world is free from will, that sentimental matrix is impossible.

However, as the ghost insists, as we posed on the faces of those girls who will be better illusion.

And then, why not return to the former that is accepting the spell? Otherwise, it would grow, evolve and continue eating pies.