Single Again

The relationship ended, you left, nothing seems to unite you anymore.  You may have fought, but things are not so easy as they seem from the outside. Of course, they are not.

There are thousands of invisible ties binding you to your ex-partner, thousands of tiny little threads that break and quickly bind again.  Sure, many are "outside", but the hardest, most difficult things, are those that come "from within". They stretch like a paste and seem to never end.

On one side, the depression, rage and anger you feel spill inward.  This is the right time to review the situation.

On the other hand, everything is new and unexpected: the unmanageable new bachelor; new people; new groups are on the horizon.  Outings, meetings, and dances can be apart of your new life.  But all the while, you are attempting to avoid the dreaded loneliness.

"There is joy in the world" and your new singleness allows you to fully access it.  Are you prepared to enjoy it properly? You need to feel able to face the challenge all the time without looking back. Well, the symptoms would indicate that you are not prepared, as no real separation is defined by a 'separation within.’

First, we go through depression and anxiety. Then, we also have sleep disorders: sleep deprivation, insomnia, sleeping, drowsiness. In general, all the post-separation symptoms can be understood in relation to it, such as: heart problems, sex, stomach aches, skin problems and so on.

There is a very clear set of behaviors that inevitably reveals that state of "no cut", that state of unconscious and rational union, of unconscious sabotage of all potential new love relationships, fear and resistance to privacy, screening of all the old problems in the new relationship: the unsustainable false belief that all males. . . all women. . . all couples. . . . are the same!

If the situation quickly becomes chronic because it is truly a "locked match" and hardens and becomes encysted, you get increasingly frustrated at every attempt.

You often observed your ex-partner maintaining secret relationships with a truly incredible denial of the harm it causes.

In more severe cases, even serious difficulties appear: psychological paralysis, despite the desire to be more active, promptly repressed suicidal thoughts return again and again, diets that can lead to anorexia or bulimia, in an effort to be tortured in a fashionable way and you often experience of the disease that many know of as “the workaholic’s disease.”

And let's not forget those who live secretly dreaming of revenge, or worse, wasting their time and their life in a vindictive bid that does not end until the police review it. Those who always have a highly destructive component are often supported by legal rationalizations and by professionals who never realized the emotional damage that these retaliations did.

This real emotional exhaustion is responsible for most of the new separate and shy attitude, which keeps you away from intimate contact even when you crave, stumping each other with your contradictory behavior.

This is sometimes seen on different web pages, when someone who seems to be inviting and affectionate, tender and warm, has thousands of evasive answers and attacks any invitations carried out, always finds "the fifth leg of the cat" or "hair in the milk", which prevents them from starting over.

The Internet expresses the impressive magic of the Web and a person can make contact with hundreds and perhaps thousands of people in a few months. Each new reactive frustration deepens the wound.

That is precisely Mariana’s case, who self-proclaimed herself "sincere, warm and open for relationships" on different Internet pages, but who rejected the forty people who entered her profile and who wanted to get in touch with her because of different reasons.

She then found her ex partner and they enjoyed a fascinating erotic night together, but the next morning she felt worse than ever and they repeated the argument about  things not working between them.

It is also Peter’s, an interesting engineer who described himself as "a good companion and an attentive gentleman," but only accepted the other person if they agreed on the meetings being held in his home, thus obviously limiting his ability to reconnect.

Instead, he agreed to leave his house to see his former partner, who asked for a large sum of money so blatantly and, who had already taken it all to a judicial level.  Heart palpitations resulted from the breakup.

In matters of separation, it is important to reflect very deeply on the degree and extent to which the separation is bad. It may not only do no harm to others, who become ignorant of the true state of the relationship.   Twists and turns are the worst choice, they are the worst poison that you can allegedly put in chains and bury separately in a permanent and everlasting frustration. Those who are eternal and cruelly chained to the monotonous repetition with the same person leaves the same drama unresolved.

This reflection, which should be deep and sincere, must certainly include qualified opinions that we so often refuse to listen to. That opinion offered by a friendly person can only open the door to a new reconnection with the world.