The Importance of Speech: Knowing About Your Marriage

Consider a separation leads to the judge re-evaluating what your married life was. Compared to what the couple thought they knew, the one who contemplates secession begins to evaluate differently and to write another story, in which the roles, responsibilities, intentions and ambitions become different.

The role of speech

A priori, neither the law nor the social habits provide any codes or pose any limitations to the retrospective history that anyone can imagine. However, there are times when one partner of the couple begins to re-write history in the form of common stock.  This is a crucial time for the conduct and outcome of a divorce and for everyone’s balance in the future. It is very important to understand that this "reconstruction" of the marriage-post is in itself a step that will transform the relationship of the couple. The role assigned to it, the part known to each event, the reasons given in each act, depict a story that moves towards a conclusion, a play on which the curtain will fall one way or another. This is the line between marriage and divorce.

Formulate your perception of the past and future

The separation that began in the couple demonstrates a mutual incompatibility on what everyone wants and what everyone lives. How to understand the initiation of this failure? And how to share that understanding with the partner who became an alternate person and therefore no longer shares anything? The only way to understand what happened to the marriage and partnership is through words, these making everyone have a perception of the past and the future.

Learn about the nuances

The more the role ascribed to the other is derogatory, excessive and without nuance, the more they are forced to defend themselves or feel guilty. It is a common impact of the judicial dimension of the divorce. And it prevents them from common observations that lead the way for a peaceful future. All work will be necessary for the one who wants to recapture an image of themselves "living" and comes to limit the challenge it imposes on the other. By cons, any element of reasoned and balanced understanding of the history of the couple that leads to a conclusion more or less acceptable by both, promotes the subsequent reconstruction of each.
        
It often seems illusory, at the time of separation, to talk about the history of the couple in an accessible way.  After all, this history is under the influence of frustration, rebellion, anger or fear. But from the moment you become aware of the considerable challenge that this represents for the future, there is possible support, such as mediation... and then, time passes and you forget about lawyers, online divorce and alimony.

Why Is It That Men Are Unfaithful?

There is a strange impulse that leads us to approach other women. Why do we find such pleasure in the forbidden?

Deception is a word that no one is alien to. In regard to the couple, the deceit involves those who have violated the rules of fidelity, rules that, once broken, can make a before-and-after in the relationship, even if the other party of the couple does not know of the betrayal. From now on, you have five seconds to guess the main cause of most of the divorces out there.

Right. Marital infidelity is on top. There are other cultures that openly allow a man to have more than one woman, the Muslims being such people. One of the richest men in the world today, The Sultan of Brunei, has more than 100 women. However, polygamy is not viewed as a favorable status in the West.

Human beings exist in two planes or levels: the physical one and the mental one. In this regard, we strive to establish a set of puritanical moral rules that contradict our physical desires. This is another one of the many ridiculous hypocrite attitudes people try to impose on themselves and on others.

Instinct and suppression 

If only we were honest with ourselves, we should recognize that we are sexually attracted to more than one person. Of course, this is not a violation of a love promise made to a woman, it's just instinct and the instinct is like a computer program preloaded in your brain.

At a purely physical level, we all have instincts and hormones constantly influencing our thoughts. This combination comes into play when a man, for example, who sees an attractive woman walking down the street. She stimulates his senses. He does not know what she's thinking and nor is he interested in it, as he only sees her physical attributes, which make him feel good...

He fantasizes about what it would be like to kiss her or to feel her body next to his, and of course, about what it would be like to make love to her. Seconds later, a second thought, guilt, comes in. ”I'm a married man” or “I have a girlfriend” or “How could I betray her?” are some of the most recurrent thoughts. However, it is absurd that a man may feel guilt for something he cannot control, for anything that even feels like a crackdown.

The media and infidelity 

Do not forget the movies, television and print media. James Bond and Don Juan, by excellence, are the first to come to mind. And what about those soap operas that millions of women watch bolted to their chairs every evening? Indeed, the attraction of most of these TV shows is to see the main characters having countless affairs.

Until recently, Fox aired a reality show starring young and eager couples staying on an island called “Temptation Island.”  This island of temptation should really be called “Sexual Survival.” Men and women were separated on opposite sides of the island, while they were seduced by the opposite sex whose sole mission was to break the covenant of faithfulness of the participants involved.

If infidelity was committed, a video show was responsible for all their counterparts across the island. Of course, the audience returns showed that it was a success.  And what about the news headlines that rocked the White House for a couple of years? Do you remember Bill Clinton saying “I have not had sexual relations with that woman?"

With the advent of the Internet, there is a new definition of deception: the affairs through the computer, the infidelity on the internet. Men can have virtual sex with women and vice versa. Appointments can be arranged through an instant messenger, which is much less compromising than the telephone.

Fault 

Here, however, is where you make a difference. There is physical desire versus emotional betrayal. Which one of the two do you think is most important? A man can sleep with a prostitute and after the sexual act is over, make it nothing more than a dim memory. Women generally do not have that capacity.

Ever since the beginning of the world, men and women have fought and have been involved in countless battles that often ended up eroding the relationship. Thus, marriages have crumbled and too much emotional agony has been wasted in resuscitation attempts. Today, there is a crisis in marriage. The crisis has to do with faith, the spouses often wondering if the other is doing something wrong or not.

Finally, the fact remains that men continue to be attracted to other women and indeed, women will continue to feel attracted to other men. When we accept the reality, the society we live in will be transformed into a much more mature one. What will you do about it?

Why Are Women Unfaithful?

Infidelity is not just a guy thing. Many women are unfaithful to their partners from time-to-time. Athough ironically, they say they are in love. But unlike guys, they often do not seek sexual feelings when they have extramarital adventures.

The why and the how of both male and female extramarital affairs have been studied by many psychologists and even private investigators.

According to statistics, almost half of women, a figure similar to that of males, cheat on their partners. In other words, almost one in two wives cheat on their partner.

How and why women cheat

For them, having an extramarital affair does not necessarily refer to sex, but it may be purely emotional and even platonic. However, such an affair makes them feel guilty because they are seeking pleasure somewhere outside their family.

Unfortunately, scams are commonplace in couples. When women have an argument in their defense and they purpose that their adventures may simply be emotional relationships without there being any sexual contact. They may even be platonic but somehow, they consider they are betraying their partner because they are hiding their relationship.

And while there is sex involved, such an affair is also often mixed with feelings. There are few women who openly declare to be motivated only by sex when they are infidel. Once there is nothing left to repair, there is a lot of divorce advice for men out there and things become pretty clear.

They think it over

In fact, women find it hard to step over sleeping with someone.  While men work rather in the reverse way: their relationships are usually strictly based on extramarital sex, with no intention of going to anything else.  They tend to get carried away by purely physical impulses without thinking about the consequences their acts may have and without there being too much guilt involved...

Generally, they do not usually put too much emphasis on adventure and they want to claim the same things as their partners, although they are not true.

Although the adventure becomes sexual, the women who turn to cheating on their husband need to feel loved, so there are feelings involved. Cheating on their partners frequently produces large remorse and restlessness.

What people think

A woman almost always takes into account the damage done to her family and to the social environment, thinking especially of "what people think," about the possibility of having a chance and they coolly weigh the pros and cons before taking any course of action.

You can be unfaithful in a premeditated, organized and even practical way, taking into account, for example, whether your schedule or your obligations allow such an act. Usually, women in this situation do not take any divorce advice for women because they do not intend to get a divorce, so they just let themselves carried away.

Another factor often considered by a woman before having an affair is whether her marriage satisfies her. Generally, a woman who is happy with her partner does not have any affairs and she is not tempted.

Sexual satisfaction seems to have too much influence on this fact, since women tend to seek emotional affairs. Maybe the sex will work wonders with their male partner, but women need a dose of passion, mystery and love.

Marriage Not Consummated

The percentage of unconsummated marriages is higher than we can imagine: 2% is a fairly high number, right ?.....

According to sexologists Drs. L. Gindin and D. Resnicoff, this is the disorder that a family has and despite trying to have intercourse on a regular basis considered at least once a week, they never achieve intravaginal penetration within an arbitrarily set period of time like 4 months. Other professionals talk about 6 months.

The truth is that the non-consummation of marriage has legal and religious implications  and usually for deep psychological reasons:

- As a piece of divorce legal advice, you can request the nullity of the marriage.

- You can also annul the marriage from a religious point of view as if it never existed and you can marry again
   in the church (at least in the Catholic Church). This procedure cannot performed by anyone, but only by a
   small elite of lawyers, who are authorized by the Curia.

Many people are embarrassed to admit that their marriage was not consummated. Some are still together despite having this problem. Some come to therapy to try to resolve this problem serologically and others go to counseling.

In this case, many people prefer to handle a divorce, opting for a lawyer or going for a DIY divorce, which dissolves the bond and enables them to remarry, before exposing the other or expose themselves in court, where such intimacies are aired and, moreover, to try them.

When there is no divorce, the path chosen is the action for the annulment of marriage, which retrieves the status of unmarried and allows you to remarry.

There is one example of a marriage which was not consummated because of the husband’s impotency and he was the husband of a very famous actress, now deceased. She was a sex symbol then and nobody could imagine that their marriage had not been consummated. The husband was ashamed and went to live abroad.

The people who are more interested in obtaining an annulment of marriage than a divorce are the very Catholic ones because the Church enables them to request the annulment of marriage and then remarry in front of the Church.

Those who do not find having a religious marriage relevant have an easier path provided by the law and that is filing a divorce.

Goodbye to the Traditional Monogamy

Cupid sometimes has bad aim and sends arrows to someone’s heart my mistake. Thus, he has no choice but to try again and again, until he finds the right person. Does it have anything to do with the priest saying "until death do you part?”

We are in the XXIst century and the concept of family has changed. It is not desperately looking for someone with the sole purpose of perpetuating the species as a family and living together forever. The ghosts of 'old maids' are gone and we all enjoy our individuality. The couple becomes an annex to our lives, a way to get intimate with well-being. This makes us flee when things go wrong and break the emotional balance. Then, we return to start a new cycle of celibacy until another goal is in our way.

So we're developing a curriculum which is more sentimental than the fruit of our love or simply a consequence of an eternal jinx doing us wrong again and again. There is a list of achievements that reflect a restless or less hectic love life. Thus, a new way of understanding the relationships was born: the sequential monogamy. Mixing tradition and compensation, a form of revenge for a grandmother who had to 'hold on' to her relationship, being afraid of what people thought.

Love with an expiration date

Scientists have taken away a psychological weight. We are not perverted and insatiable beings who change partners on a whim. It is nature itself that makes us mark our sentimental path. And, according to investigators, the eternal love is utopian. The infatuation lasts between one and a half and four years. Thus, the couple continuing beyond this time is practically going 'against nature', rebelling against the animal instinct. Carrying on or not carrying on with the relationship will depend on the human, social and sexual bases on which the sentimental story is built.

The first breakup is always harder.

Our first love remains buried in our hearts and it is sometimes an obstacle in the way of understanding our further relationships. There are biased remnants of failed relationships that are very unhelpful when it comes to facing new challenges. So, subsequent ruptures are not usually so dramatic. Your happiness will be the secret weapon to help you build skills that will be useful in the future and you can also maintain the illusion of a new partner or that of your own lives, if you choose to enjoy it without compromise.

There is nothing to worry about. The man has a survival instinct that makes him get over the obstacles he encounters in life again and again without losing the joy of a new love. "The man of our life", becomes "the man in our lives." He is like half an orange with different faces that will toughen a list of romances for some outrageous and for others rational.

Express Divorce

About 140,000 divorces were registered in Spain last year, according to statistics on annulments, separations and divorces released by the National Statistics Institute (INE). Despite looking like an alarming number, we're lucky, since the rate dropped by nearly six per cent over the previous year, 2006, breaking the upward trend that has been observed in recent years.

Many blame the passage of the law of "express divorce" for the boom that has been occurring in Spain since 2005, when it all began. So, in 2006, Spain ended up as the country with the third largest divorce rates in the European Union. According to the General Council of the Judiciary, there was a 48.1 per cent growth in the number of divorces, as compared to that of separations, which occurred as a result of using the new law.

In this sense, experts say that the reform of the Civil Procedure Law has introduced many facilities to eliminate couples who were saved from pre-separation procedures and to give them a period of reflection that in some cases resulted in reconciliation. The freedom of choice leads to taking the 'way through' as the only solution in some cases.

To lighten or not to lighten our sentimental list? That is the question ...

The first ... the innocent love of children, the second ... a gulf with the word that I discovered the infidelity and the third ... a shoulder to cry on, the room ... an 'affair' disco jocks with that empty brain, the fifth ... "true love" that fails to run God knows why, the sixth ... seventh ... eighth ... Now that is the "ultimate love," "Should I tell my sentimental history or should I omit certain chapters of my life?"  This is the eternal dilemma.

According to the survey by the Institute Review on "the sexual habits of the Spanish," the man confesses to an average of seven sexual partners during his lifetime, and women to three. Is this real? Socially, should I recognize a past filled with sex?

Culturally, women contiuned to be instilled with the idea of eternal love, or at least, of lasting love. Finding a virgin man leaves no attitude of joy or sorrow in a female. But what about in a man? In many cases, virginity becomes the 'Golden Fleece' that enhances an already hedonistic manliness.

But in general, in a society that has evolved towards equality, at least in nominal terms, the men understand and assume the sexual lives of their partners. The love lives more freely, they have someone with whom to share. You may assume that a person with a certain age has had several mistresses throughout his life and even children resulted from these relationships, which does not prevent them from falling in love again. Thus, inadvertently, we implicitly assume that love is not eternal, that it is born and transformed over time, and that there is no day without love, just like it happens with wine.

There are limits so that the number of lovers is not shocking? One, ten, twenty? Agreeing to a person who has had multiple partners over their lives can offer more mature relationships if taken advantage of that experience. It is a matter of perception.

Emotional dependency syndrome or bad luck?

What do we learn from stringing love? That this is a problem of emotional immaturity or that we simply have a jinx that does not allow us to be with him. How to differentiate one situation from the other? Answer the following questions: Do you really like having a long-term relationship? If so, have you noticed if you are attracted to guys who share some common features when it comes to their profile? Do you have an urgent need to always have someone by your side, but it ends up coming out all wrong? If you answered yes to any of these issues, you may be experiencing the "emotional dependency syndrome."

The emotional dependence syndrome is the continuing need of individuals to always be with someone, i.e. the need to feel loved and followed. This extreme situation forces people who have it to look around and the search love of their lives. This attitude may appear to be timely in the life of an individual, there being very passionate relationships, but there is a constant that determines a pattern of emotional behavior that results in a psychopathological phenomenon and this is more often.

If you need love so strongly, your relationships should not result in relationships marked by suffering and dissatisfaction. But normally, the clerk always just stares at people with attractive features for them, but gives poor pieces of advice for the rest of us: self-centered people, individuals and little caring dominant. The result? After an ordeal of continuing abuses of power, the relationship ends and the cycle begins again with finding another individual with similar traits to avoid fear and anguish of loneliness. That occurs if you are able to overcome a 'withdrawal' that leads him to try to go back to you or if you are the one that runs back.

Items to detect if we are prey to emotional dependency syndrome 

- Dire need to continually seek relationships, considering the long life you could spend next to someone;
- Excessive need to be in continuous contact with a couple, even in the most inappropriate situations. You
  may have a precise attitude derived from everyday problems, making decisions and immediate
  accountability;
- Frequent choice of hedonistic, selfish, presumptuous and hostile partners to idealize, constantly
  overestimating their qualities;
- Subjugation to the couple as a means to ingratiate himself with her, which leads to an imbalance in the
  relationship;
- Preemption of the couple on anything else, neglecting family, friends, work and, of course, their own needs;
- Terror to a possible breakup, but the relationship is a real 'ordeal' with desperate attempts to resume if it
   finally breaks;
- Self-esteem in tatters, with unconsciousness of personal qualities or underestimation of the individual;
- Obsession with pleasing others, sacrificing personal desires in favor of acts to impress others; and
- Dread at the prospect of loneliness.

The curriculum of our famous sentimental life

Penelope Cruz. She changes her life partners just as frequently as she has movie premieres. She was first known for the music video which she filmed with Nacho Cano, who was her first love. After that, she simply could not stop: Gigi Sarasola, ex Marta Sanchez, Thomas Obermaier, an attractive lad of Czech origin, hence the leap to Hollywood with the high-profile relationship with Tom Cruise. Then came Matthew McConaughey, during the filming of "Sahara", Orlando Bloom and Olivier Martinez (Kylie Minogue's ex), a relationship which the actress never recognized, or Josh Hartnett, Scarlett Johansson’s former partner. Now, let us return to the national product, with Javier Bardem, perhaps the final relationship... at least for a while.

Ines Sastre. "Variety is the spice" and one that lives following this principle is our model Ines Sastre. Among her achievements, an aspiring star, Luis Alfonso de Bourbon, a Güell lifetime, a businessman of good fun, Colate Vallejo Nájera, the British playboy Tim Jeffries, the Belgian aristocrat Maleingreau Michel, the billionaire Neil Taylor, the adventurer Gilles Thornton, the Scotsman Simon Lovat, the Italian Maximiliano Bianchi ... The entrepreneur Alex Youran was the one who took her to the aisle, perhaps because of an unexpected pregnancy. A year later, the two finally said “Goodbye”.

Vicky Martín Berrocal. She rose to fame when she got engaged to the bullfighter Manuel Diaz, whom she married and who she had a child with. After separation, Vicky let her everyone down: Alvaro Muńoz Escassi Denilson, also known as Pepe Navarro. Her latest conquest was Israel Bayon, an entrepreneur who lives a tempestuous love story of comings and goings.

Lecquio, Dell'ate Antonia, Ana Obregon, Sonia Moldes, Sofia Mazagatos, Mar Flores, Susana Molina are just some of the stories that have starred in numerous covers of magazines. Maria Palacios seems to be closer to the altar ... for the second time. This is probably the chance to prove everyone that the Don Juan days are over.

Ana Obregón. Here are some of her former boyfriends who made her famous: Miguel Bosé, Alberto de Monaco, Oscar Lozano, Alessandro Lequio, Rafael Camino, Davor Suker, Miki Molina ...

 Joaquín Cortés. He launched his sentimental career with the model Marisa Jara, the former singer Manu Tenorio’s girlfriend. But above all the list of romances, including the model María Pineda, one of his first loves, the actress Canary Goya Toledo or Amparo Larrańaga made a blast. The most international and most notorious of all was the relationship he had with the supermodel Naomi Campbell, who spoke of a suicide attempt subsequent to the breakup. Also difficult was the story he lived with his former personal assistant Asumu Kate, who claims to have got her hands on a dancer. Indonesia, a young Moroccan model is the latest conquest, but the two already decided to live together. Does this sound like wedding bells?

The Prenuptial Contract

The form provides, in advance, that the prospective spouses may fix the conditions under which they divide their property in the event of a divorce.

It consists of an article that would amend art. 1217 of the Civil Code, which does not allow this type of agreement.

The project generated controversy among lawyers, but those in favor argue that this type of agreement is necessary for reconstituted families with children and that it is not common among couples.

This project has been transformed into a law and it leads to savings in economic terms in the divorce, as well as protects the interests of the children from a previous marriage.

Senator Giusti clarified in a radio show that this agreement is not compulsory, but optional, so that, whoever is against it and agrees with the way we currently divide the marital property in divorce can give up on the prenuptial agreement.

Similar legislation applies in countries such as USA, Mexico, France, Brazil and Chile. Many lawyers hope that this bill becomes a law, as it would be of great help for all the marriages which are generally held at an age when one or both members of the couple have a certain heritage.

Surely, this type of contract does not go for girls in premarital couples, who marry at the age of 20 and have to build everything together.  For those who get married later and have a heritage, such as the experience of a divorce and children. This way, the agreement can work as an estate instrument.