Denominators:
1. Commitment - refers to the decision to maintain the ratio when it comes to problems that could result due to the special importance given to the other person and the relationship itself.
First of all, one should care about their partner when they are involved in a relationship. This factor grows slower and more gradual than that of privacy.
Commitment grows at the same time as emotional and financial interdependence. On the commitment level, standards and social pressures that may act to strengthen the commitment are very important or hinder the same because the relationship can bring social prejudices or identified social stereotypes.
2. Privacy - where the two share a space of their own, which is non-transferable and where there is special communication. There is a "special emotional bond" and there is emotional support, understanding, communication, confidence, self-disclosures, security and comfort, with the couple.
This factor will tend to grow with the co-existence and the passage of time, mainly due to the continuous increase of the secrets and intimacies shared between the two and the number of episodes, goals, friendships, emotions, and locations.
3. Erotic Passion is general activation of the body associated with more physiological, sexual desire, tachycardia, physical attraction.
4. Passion and Romance bring together a set of vehement ideas, values and attitudes about the couple
owned by the stereotype of the romance of our culture that generates intrusive thoughts, idealization; belief in something " magic "in the relationship; the couple's identification with the romantic ideal, and belief in the omnipotence of love that leads to happiness.
Passion becomes a key component in the pair. The Erotic Passion (EP), as all the studies show, is easier to achieve, but more difficult to maintain for several reasons:
- The psychobiological effects produced leave us "accustomed" and accommodating with the other person;
- The need for novel stimuli. This is what psychologists call the "Coolidge" effect of satiation and
habituation "to business as usual;" and
- The so-called Law of the gain-loss or the so-called Law of infidelity.
Romantic Passion is usually more durable than the PE. It is essential that people feel it before the Erotic Passion and therefore it can be attributed to the person towards whom we feel that unconscious physical attraction and is usually felt in the early stages of the relationship. It means that the romantic passion that we feel is necessary to appear before the erotic one.
You need to have personal attraction before having romantic passion. This is encouraged by the similarity of tastes, interests, opinions, values and attitudes, as well as by obtaining reinforcements together. You have good times together; have fun together; go out with friends who appreciate your relationship; and enjoy activities like the two-dinners, cinema, dance, and music. The halo effect that the other person exercises it is always necessary and desirable that there is a certain admiration for the couple. Plus an influence on our own romantic expectations we have gained in our education and our previous relationships and romantic atmosphere which we live in.
As mentioned, the Romantic Passion fades more slowly, decreases slightly and gradually, through the influence of married life. The permanent coexistence is the progressive reduction of uncertainty (of whether the relationship will or will not go well, because we think that everything is won and that it is irremovable), increasing the effects of habituation depending on the situation, the satiation in the relationship, the consequent attraction to novelty and the desire to seduce and be seduced.
What is the component that most influences your partner?
Passion needs to be fed, cultivated, and paid.. Be careful with the surprising passion our partners feel, the innovating one in the relationship, with doing different things and having fun with them, with reserving a space and a unique time for family activities that are rewarding for both partners. This is how passion goes.
The evolution of the relationship could be simplified to 3 phases:
1. Falling in love: Where converge Erotic Passion and Romantic Passion primarily. We dare say that the duration of this stage may emerge and reach its peak after 4 months, but its decay is faster, if the partners don’t reach the next stage (passionate love). It lasts until the middle of the next year. There are also differences between couples and individuals. The person in this stage is enveloped in a set of new and intense emotions towards the other, both general and sexual arousal, and they have a gradually satisfied desire to establish a special bond with that person.
2. Passionate love: The erotic passion, the romance and intimacy (emotional attachment) are essential. It starts from the first six months of the relationship and reaches its peak, after which it decreases. It takes about 4 years to rise and the drop begins towards the next stage (their cultivation and care with the advice that can improve the duration of this stage ...). There are also differences between couples and individuals. There are certain myths such as "true love" that make it difficult to accept that the couple is moving towards love ...
3. Love mate: It's where the essential factors are Privacy and Commitment. This stage is more durable than the previous ones. It has a moderate level of romantic love (no longer has such intensity -and you have to stimulate and cultivate it-) and it also has a low level of passionate love (do not have much activity and physical attraction.) It usually occurs after four years of relationship.
And other stages may occur from these:
1. Friendly love: The relationship could be stabilized in that partner’s love or lead to what might be called "mutual love," which involves commitment and intimacy, but without any degree of passion (neither romantic nor erotic)
2. Relationship of convenience: Becoming a simple relationship of convenience, for the reasons outlined above-(only relies on commitment, usually by social pressure or social values that are almost always mediated by others, children, parents, etc.. )
3. Rupture of couples: Ending the relationship where the commitment disappears. This latter stage corresponds more to the phenomenon of what we call "indifference", but this is another chapter (let's call it “sharing the indifference”). Let's just say that this is where the mediation and the aspect of divorce cost come in, accompanied by all the other aspects of a breakup.
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