I Broke My Family

I got separated from my husband, who was too selfish.  His faults included: coming home from work and playing in front of the television; never making love to me and so on..

I have my 4 children, aged between 11 and 5. I want to start my life all over again with a man I met on the net. He is 45 and I am 35 years. He has a son in alternating custody with his ex wife. At first, we walked, hugged, went out to dinner and then, I moved in with him and my 4 children. Now, everything is changed. I find myself alone in the kitchen, cleaning, ironing and gardening. I wanted to find work, but the 2nd appointment at the employment center went on like this: "You can stay if you are dedicated to your job only”. I understand the man’s thinking: he wants me to raise my children better, which is fine, it works, and he is not interested in money as long as I got there at 7.

I thought he was the ideal father-I did not see that it was even worse than my ex, no more kisses, no more hugs, the kids didn’t have an example to follow. If one of my sons breaks the cherry blossom, he loses his temper and hits him.  If the children don’t stay at the table for an hour, he takes their food and eats it. I'm tense, I made efforts to change. ... I fear his explosive reactions that can happen at any time and varied and pointless excuses. Finally, thanks to the Internet, which once united us, we no longer see each other that often. He comes home from work, stays in front of the TV and plays, without even noticing me.

Changing the subject, I lost all my friends and I cannot be happy because every time I start talking about something I like, he becomes intolerant, selfish, egocentric in the sense that he wants me to take care of him, but not the other way around. I do not feel like making love, I cry at night in secret because I'm not allowed to cry as he doesn’t stand that. I'm a mom who is responsible for 4 children with 600 euros for child support and I cannot even take care of m children properly anymore..... Today I know the consequences a woman who chose to raise her children and not to work.  She has to suffer.  I am so disappointed with his male selfishness, with his "I always try to have fun and think of others before thinking of myself. I am ashamed of myself, I broke my family for a heinous kind, my children are unhappy about not seeing their father every day, but only once every seven weeks."