What behaviors are adopted?
- You and your children:
All psychologists will tell you a blended family will never be a "blood family" as each member comes up with their history, experiences, and emotions. They are forced to deal with the experiences of others. All this takes time and a big effort to adapt.
- Be patient, do not get burned completely, everyone will eventually find their place;
- Communicate within your home. Everything will be settled if you communicate and understand the expectations and needs of each
member of the family;
- Do not be demoralized by the conflict, although they say you are needed to advance, hold only
positive effects;
- Learn how to negotiate, know how to make compromises;
- As a mother and wife, you are at the heart of the construction process, you have a crucial role to play;
- Introduce your dog to your children and help them find their place;
- Prepare the children for this change without rushing them;
- Your kids will become aggressive, but it's a normal reaction. They see this man as an intruder, they have
quite a job of "mourning" of the past to do;
- Be firm with your children when it comes to your choice;
- Do not give them the opportunity to challenge you;
- Do not try to obtain their approval at all costs;
- Do not feel guilty, children take advantage of this situation to destabilize you;
- A blended family is built on the ruins of a broken family and someone reunites the meaning of marriage and divorce. This past life has left its mark and it also marked your children;
- Do not try to deny it;
- Establish a fair and healthy relationship with the absent father. Your children will feel secure and will be
much more willing to accept the presence of a step-parent.
- Your torque:
Even if you're attacked by multiple daily tasks, taking care to spare some moments of intimacy is essential
to the duration of your relationship.
- Your companion
As a newcomer, the step-parent must accept the rules and comply with the practices that exist in the
family. Listen to the children talk, councilor. Do not try to be the head of the household and the one who
decides everything right away. Do not try to replace the absent parent in terms of authority and affection as
rejection would be immediate.
If you can build respect in your family, adults and children, if everyone has consideration for the other, then
the success of the building is insured. You will live in a stepfamily full of harmony and solidarity.
If you happen to have difficulties, know that you can count on the support of associations and
organizations, the role of which is to listen and to help families. You can also find a lot of online divorce help and help on related problems.
Is harmony in the couple realistic?
Life as a couple has become the basis of a blended family, but it is fraught with pitfalls. Each member comes to confront the other, bringing up their past experiences and values. Under these circumstances, is it realistic to hope for harmony in a new couple?
It is important to understand that despite all the precautions taken, the impact of cohabitation is inevitable. Simply put forward ways to:
- communicate more and better;
- allow everyone to express their needs;
- consider the words of the smallest;
- successfully negotiate the new boundaries and agreements to the satisfaction of all;
- be prepared to revise them as needed.
Before embarking on the path of a stepfamily, spouses should know that this choice of life has its challenges, some of which are unavoidable. Yet, happiness in a blended family is possible, with a little skill and a good dose of maturity.
The new couple dream of harmony
The children stand at the heart of the proposed blended family. Also, the members of a couple hope that bonds of affection develop between them.
Would it be fair to say that they do not live just the same love story as a parent?
For children, the stepfamily brings a dilemma: are they allowed to love the new partner or the new partner with whom they must now live without being disloyal to either of their two parents?
Including the children
This conflict of loyalty cannot be solved by supporting the adults around them. Helping to resolve this impasse is one of the crucial responsibilities accruing to both parents. Sometimes, in order to monopolize the children’s love, some resist the temptation of evil blackmail and this at a time when children are most vulnerable. The children’s hearts are yet big enough to make room for all.
While new partners are working to complete this family project with enthusiasm, the children, they have many other concerns. They have not chosen or decided not to reconstitute a family. Therefore, they need to know:
- what part of love they receive now that their parent loves someone else;
- if that bring any changes in their daily lives;
- what they lose;
- what they gain.
Preserve your relationship
Children’s needs and concerns, however, should not take precedence over the couple. Indeed, lovers often have little time between preparing meals, supervising homework, baths and extracurricular courses.
The harmony within the new family would not be complete without harmony in the couple. To succeed, we must hang on to moments of intimacy. Why not ask the older to take care of the younger? The solution has the advantage of allowing the couple to find these moments while promoting understanding between children.
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