Will Couples of the 2000s Last?

What can you think of the couples and families of the 2000s? While individual needs are the central concern of our society, what will become of these institutions? Will they last?

Since the 1970s, the couple and the family have experienced serious upheaval: free love, separation, divorce, single parents, and stepfamilies, among other changes. There was also a marked increase in the rate of celibacy, especially in big cities. Be together for better or for worse is now over!

Although many are worried about these changes, this break has helped bring serious problems to light in couples and families. To name them, physical, verbal, psychological, sexual abuse, alcoholism, drug addiction. Now, it is easier to get out of an unacceptable relationship and ask for help.

Beyond these extreme situations, people have other reasons to consider a break. For example, persistent conflicts, values which are too different between partners, an imbalance of involvement or commitmen, excessive stress, exhaustion, lack of complicity or trust, personal failure, pain, sexual dysfunction, infidelity, lack of desire or love, a power imbalance, difficulty communicating, etc.. Seen through the lens of the past, these reasons may seem innocuous.  Sometimes they are, too.

Asking for help

That's when that external assistance from a professional or a skilled therapist can be helpful. We must realize, human beings must face various obstacles and overcome several crises in their life. Whether alone or in couples, this is a mandatory path. If well lived, a crisis can be an opportunity for renewal in a couple and can strengthen the ties between the two spouses. By cons, if the decision to leave was inevitable (it may be preferable), therapy will, however, allow the two to try everything before making this important decision.

It seems easier to start over elsewhere. Yet, changing partners does not always make us happier and we often return to the problems which have not been resolved in a previous marriage. Then, we get the same point.

Being a couple in an "auspicious" era as ours sometimes requires swimming against the tide. It takes patience, time, listening, caring, sharing, delicacy and great humility to build and maintain a strong bond of love. These values are not fashionable, but they are undoubtedly those which will help the couple in 2000 survive. And let it be said, there is no human feeling strong enough to maintain a relationship without effort and commitment!