In many cases, feelings of failure and guilt are also experienced by those whose relationships have ended due to the death of their spouse. It is very common that people also experience a strong sense of loss after the dissolution of the relationship, apart from feelings of failure.
The meaning, connection and membership are very real and basic desires of the human condition itself. For women, the relationship may even represent their own identity and their position in certain communities as they can be totally defined by their relationship. The truth is that an emotional breakdown is hard to bear and it can get to play an important role in terms of reducing their self-worth and self esteem when it comes to women. This is because a women's sense of being is directly linked to the quality of their relationships with others.
So, what to expect when the relationship ends?
If the relationship ends by mutual agreement and the decision is accepted by both parties in an amicable manner, the parties will undoubtedly experience pain, but the feelings of failure and guilt will be lower. The sense of loss will be much greater if the relationship ends due to death or as a result of incompatibility, infidelity, anger, hostility, emotional or physical abuse, etc.
The truth is that the feelings associated with the dissolution of the relationship may lead the individual to revive certain aspects of an earlier stage in their life, probably when a teenager, when the person was just getting interested and socialized with the opposite sex. It is during this stage when a person has their first real experiences of anxiety and uncertainty about the interest that may or may not wake up in others.
The breakup becomes very difficult for women especially when it has already entered into the full time period, i.e. past 35 years. This is because, from a cultural perspective, women have grown convinced that feeling fulfilled requires the presence of a man in her life. Therefore, one ends up believing that if they do not have someone to share their life with, it is better to get someone before it is too late.
Many women who do not have a partner for either a short or long period of time, certainly did not plan their lives around that way, but what is important to remember is that the way in which a woman decides to turn her life during and the periods of time that she chooses can determine her own self-growth or regression.
Throughout history, women have always showed great emotional strength and courage during difficult times, but when a woman enters a relationship, perhaps for purely cultural reasons, she begins to rely on the man’s strength. Thus, when the relationship ends, either by separation, divorce or death, she begins to feel that her ability to cope with this situation emotionally is diminished and thus she cannot be given an opportunity to continue growing as an individual.
Given this reality, what can then make the woman? Well, we could say there are two possible ways:
1) She can go find a new partner immediately, which in fact is not the most recommended as she is not
ready emotionally and almost always runs the risk of accepting someone who may end up causing her
more pain than relief; and,
2) She can take the time to address the situation while planning her own way through her personal
growth, giving the possibility of again becoming an independent and self-confident individual.
Once she has reached this point through the acquisition of certain important skills, they will also be useful when the time comes that she decides to start a new relationship, so they can feel safe enough, if they wish, to find the right person for this part of their life and have a relationship that really makes them feel satisfied and fulfilled.
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