Goodbye to the Traditional Monogamy

Monday, January 3, 2011

Cupid sometimes has bad aim and sends arrows to someone’s heart my mistake. Thus, he has no choice but to try again and again, until he finds the right person. Does it have anything to do with the priest saying "until death do you part?”

We are in the XXIst century and the concept of family has changed. It is not desperately looking for someone with the sole purpose of perpetuating the species as a family and living together forever. The ghosts of 'old maids' are gone and we all enjoy our individuality. The couple becomes an annex to our lives, a way to get intimate with well-being. This makes us flee when things go wrong and break the emotional balance. Then, we return to start a new cycle of celibacy until another goal is in our way.

So we're developing a curriculum which is more sentimental than the fruit of our love or simply a consequence of an eternal jinx doing us wrong again and again. There is a list of achievements that reflect a restless or less hectic love life. Thus, a new way of understanding the relationships was born: the sequential monogamy. Mixing tradition and compensation, a form of revenge for a grandmother who had to 'hold on' to her relationship, being afraid of what people thought.

Love with an expiration date

Scientists have taken away a psychological weight. We are not perverted and insatiable beings who change partners on a whim. It is nature itself that makes us mark our sentimental path. And, according to investigators, the eternal love is utopian. The infatuation lasts between one and a half and four years. Thus, the couple continuing beyond this time is practically going 'against nature', rebelling against the animal instinct. Carrying on or not carrying on with the relationship will depend on the human, social and sexual bases on which the sentimental story is built.

The first breakup is always harder.

Our first love remains buried in our hearts and it is sometimes an obstacle in the way of understanding our further relationships. There are biased remnants of failed relationships that are very unhelpful when it comes to facing new challenges. So, subsequent ruptures are not usually so dramatic. Your happiness will be the secret weapon to help you build skills that will be useful in the future and you can also maintain the illusion of a new partner or that of your own lives, if you choose to enjoy it without compromise.

There is nothing to worry about. The man has a survival instinct that makes him get over the obstacles he encounters in life again and again without losing the joy of a new love. "The man of our life", becomes "the man in our lives." He is like half an orange with different faces that will toughen a list of romances for some outrageous and for others rational.

Express Divorce

About 140,000 divorces were registered in Spain last year, according to statistics on annulments, separations and divorces released by the National Statistics Institute (INE). Despite looking like an alarming number, we're lucky, since the rate dropped by nearly six per cent over the previous year, 2006, breaking the upward trend that has been observed in recent years.

Many blame the passage of the law of "express divorce" for the boom that has been occurring in Spain since 2005, when it all began. So, in 2006, Spain ended up as the country with the third largest divorce rates in the European Union. According to the General Council of the Judiciary, there was a 48.1 per cent growth in the number of divorces, as compared to that of separations, which occurred as a result of using the new law.

In this sense, experts say that the reform of the Civil Procedure Law has introduced many facilities to eliminate couples who were saved from pre-separation procedures and to give them a period of reflection that in some cases resulted in reconciliation. The freedom of choice leads to taking the 'way through' as the only solution in some cases.

To lighten or not to lighten our sentimental list? That is the question ...

The first ... the innocent love of children, the second ... a gulf with the word that I discovered the infidelity and the third ... a shoulder to cry on, the room ... an 'affair' disco jocks with that empty brain, the fifth ... "true love" that fails to run God knows why, the sixth ... seventh ... eighth ... Now that is the "ultimate love," "Should I tell my sentimental history or should I omit certain chapters of my life?"  This is the eternal dilemma.

According to the survey by the Institute Review on "the sexual habits of the Spanish," the man confesses to an average of seven sexual partners during his lifetime, and women to three. Is this real? Socially, should I recognize a past filled with sex?

Culturally, women contiuned to be instilled with the idea of eternal love, or at least, of lasting love. Finding a virgin man leaves no attitude of joy or sorrow in a female. But what about in a man? In many cases, virginity becomes the 'Golden Fleece' that enhances an already hedonistic manliness.

But in general, in a society that has evolved towards equality, at least in nominal terms, the men understand and assume the sexual lives of their partners. The love lives more freely, they have someone with whom to share. You may assume that a person with a certain age has had several mistresses throughout his life and even children resulted from these relationships, which does not prevent them from falling in love again. Thus, inadvertently, we implicitly assume that love is not eternal, that it is born and transformed over time, and that there is no day without love, just like it happens with wine.

There are limits so that the number of lovers is not shocking? One, ten, twenty? Agreeing to a person who has had multiple partners over their lives can offer more mature relationships if taken advantage of that experience. It is a matter of perception.

Emotional dependency syndrome or bad luck?

What do we learn from stringing love? That this is a problem of emotional immaturity or that we simply have a jinx that does not allow us to be with him. How to differentiate one situation from the other? Answer the following questions: Do you really like having a long-term relationship? If so, have you noticed if you are attracted to guys who share some common features when it comes to their profile? Do you have an urgent need to always have someone by your side, but it ends up coming out all wrong? If you answered yes to any of these issues, you may be experiencing the "emotional dependency syndrome."

The emotional dependence syndrome is the continuing need of individuals to always be with someone, i.e. the need to feel loved and followed. This extreme situation forces people who have it to look around and the search love of their lives. This attitude may appear to be timely in the life of an individual, there being very passionate relationships, but there is a constant that determines a pattern of emotional behavior that results in a psychopathological phenomenon and this is more often.

If you need love so strongly, your relationships should not result in relationships marked by suffering and dissatisfaction. But normally, the clerk always just stares at people with attractive features for them, but gives poor pieces of advice for the rest of us: self-centered people, individuals and little caring dominant. The result? After an ordeal of continuing abuses of power, the relationship ends and the cycle begins again with finding another individual with similar traits to avoid fear and anguish of loneliness. That occurs if you are able to overcome a 'withdrawal' that leads him to try to go back to you or if you are the one that runs back.

Items to detect if we are prey to emotional dependency syndrome 

- Dire need to continually seek relationships, considering the long life you could spend next to someone;
- Excessive need to be in continuous contact with a couple, even in the most inappropriate situations. You
  may have a precise attitude derived from everyday problems, making decisions and immediate
  accountability;
- Frequent choice of hedonistic, selfish, presumptuous and hostile partners to idealize, constantly
  overestimating their qualities;
- Subjugation to the couple as a means to ingratiate himself with her, which leads to an imbalance in the
  relationship;
- Preemption of the couple on anything else, neglecting family, friends, work and, of course, their own needs;
- Terror to a possible breakup, but the relationship is a real 'ordeal' with desperate attempts to resume if it
   finally breaks;
- Self-esteem in tatters, with unconsciousness of personal qualities or underestimation of the individual;
- Obsession with pleasing others, sacrificing personal desires in favor of acts to impress others; and
- Dread at the prospect of loneliness.

The curriculum of our famous sentimental life

Penelope Cruz. She changes her life partners just as frequently as she has movie premieres. She was first known for the music video which she filmed with Nacho Cano, who was her first love. After that, she simply could not stop: Gigi Sarasola, ex Marta Sanchez, Thomas Obermaier, an attractive lad of Czech origin, hence the leap to Hollywood with the high-profile relationship with Tom Cruise. Then came Matthew McConaughey, during the filming of "Sahara", Orlando Bloom and Olivier Martinez (Kylie Minogue's ex), a relationship which the actress never recognized, or Josh Hartnett, Scarlett Johansson’s former partner. Now, let us return to the national product, with Javier Bardem, perhaps the final relationship... at least for a while.

Ines Sastre. "Variety is the spice" and one that lives following this principle is our model Ines Sastre. Among her achievements, an aspiring star, Luis Alfonso de Bourbon, a Güell lifetime, a businessman of good fun, Colate Vallejo Nájera, the British playboy Tim Jeffries, the Belgian aristocrat Maleingreau Michel, the billionaire Neil Taylor, the adventurer Gilles Thornton, the Scotsman Simon Lovat, the Italian Maximiliano Bianchi ... The entrepreneur Alex Youran was the one who took her to the aisle, perhaps because of an unexpected pregnancy. A year later, the two finally said “Goodbye”.

Vicky Martín Berrocal. She rose to fame when she got engaged to the bullfighter Manuel Diaz, whom she married and who she had a child with. After separation, Vicky let her everyone down: Alvaro Muńoz Escassi Denilson, also known as Pepe Navarro. Her latest conquest was Israel Bayon, an entrepreneur who lives a tempestuous love story of comings and goings.

Lecquio, Dell'ate Antonia, Ana Obregon, Sonia Moldes, Sofia Mazagatos, Mar Flores, Susana Molina are just some of the stories that have starred in numerous covers of magazines. Maria Palacios seems to be closer to the altar ... for the second time. This is probably the chance to prove everyone that the Don Juan days are over.

Ana Obregón. Here are some of her former boyfriends who made her famous: Miguel Bosé, Alberto de Monaco, Oscar Lozano, Alessandro Lequio, Rafael Camino, Davor Suker, Miki Molina ...

 Joaquín Cortés. He launched his sentimental career with the model Marisa Jara, the former singer Manu Tenorio’s girlfriend. But above all the list of romances, including the model María Pineda, one of his first loves, the actress Canary Goya Toledo or Amparo Larrańaga made a blast. The most international and most notorious of all was the relationship he had with the supermodel Naomi Campbell, who spoke of a suicide attempt subsequent to the breakup. Also difficult was the story he lived with his former personal assistant Asumu Kate, who claims to have got her hands on a dancer. Indonesia, a young Moroccan model is the latest conquest, but the two already decided to live together. Does this sound like wedding bells?

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