Is Infidelity a Cause of Divorce?

Here is a useful situation that you might identify yourself with:

"Hello, I'm 38, I have been married for 12 years, I have 3 children, a 10, an 8 and a 7-year-old. I just discovered that my husband was unfaithful to me, I told him about it and he has said that it was the first time, that this woman did not matter to him, that he cracked, he also told me that I am the only woman he loves and that he cannot imagine his life without me. I do not know how to react, I still love my husband, but I no longer trust him, I feel betrayed, I think about her all the time and I wonder if she was older than me. Do you think we can forget and still have a fulfilling life together? Is forgiveness possible? Can an infidel husband return to being a faithful one or should you move on to getting divorce advice for men and women both?"

Christina Lion

Dear Christina,

You discovered that your husband was unfaithful, it's a shock, but you could talk to him. You explained that this woman hit on him, but that "he loves you and that he cannot envisage life without you."

The problem is as follows: Your husband still loves you, but will you have the strength and will to overcome this betrayal despite your suffering? You must decide if you want to forgive him and preserve your marriage and your children or if you want to separate. Yes, you can forgive your husband, especially since it was just a fad, but he must give you back proof of love and regain your confidence. Moreover, it would be good for your relationship and yourself to go see a marriage counselor, to find the reason for his "cracking", to find what in your domestic relationship may have favored his vulnerability? There is no trick to forget, thus, free yourself from all the negative, but normal feelings, such as grief, anger, resentment may be critical for the balance and future of your relationship.

Infidelity - is it chronic? This depends greatly on your marital relationship and your husband’s personality. There are no rules, but experience shows that couples who have overcome such crises had the common desire to start on solid foundations in couples therapy and not all have been forced to seek legal divorce advice or divorce advice of any kind. Possibly, many couples have gone through it and live happily together.