Why Is It That Men Are Unfaithful?

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

There is a strange impulse that leads us to approach other women. Why do we find such pleasure in the forbidden?

Deception is a word that no one is alien to. In regard to the couple, the deceit involves those who have violated the rules of fidelity, rules that, once broken, can make a before-and-after in the relationship, even if the other party of the couple does not know of the betrayal. From now on, you have five seconds to guess the main cause of most of the divorces out there.

Right. Marital infidelity is on top. There are other cultures that openly allow a man to have more than one woman, the Muslims being such people. One of the richest men in the world today, The Sultan of Brunei, has more than 100 women. However, polygamy is not viewed as a favorable status in the West.

Human beings exist in two planes or levels: the physical one and the mental one. In this regard, we strive to establish a set of puritanical moral rules that contradict our physical desires. This is another one of the many ridiculous hypocrite attitudes people try to impose on themselves and on others.

Instinct and suppression 

If only we were honest with ourselves, we should recognize that we are sexually attracted to more than one person. Of course, this is not a violation of a love promise made to a woman, it's just instinct and the instinct is like a computer program preloaded in your brain.

At a purely physical level, we all have instincts and hormones constantly influencing our thoughts. This combination comes into play when a man, for example, who sees an attractive woman walking down the street. She stimulates his senses. He does not know what she's thinking and nor is he interested in it, as he only sees her physical attributes, which make him feel good...

He fantasizes about what it would be like to kiss her or to feel her body next to his, and of course, about what it would be like to make love to her. Seconds later, a second thought, guilt, comes in. ”I'm a married man” or “I have a girlfriend” or “How could I betray her?” are some of the most recurrent thoughts. However, it is absurd that a man may feel guilt for something he cannot control, for anything that even feels like a crackdown.

The media and infidelity 

Do not forget the movies, television and print media. James Bond and Don Juan, by excellence, are the first to come to mind. And what about those soap operas that millions of women watch bolted to their chairs every evening? Indeed, the attraction of most of these TV shows is to see the main characters having countless affairs.

Until recently, Fox aired a reality show starring young and eager couples staying on an island called “Temptation Island.”  This island of temptation should really be called “Sexual Survival.” Men and women were separated on opposite sides of the island, while they were seduced by the opposite sex whose sole mission was to break the covenant of faithfulness of the participants involved.

If infidelity was committed, a video show was responsible for all their counterparts across the island. Of course, the audience returns showed that it was a success.  And what about the news headlines that rocked the White House for a couple of years? Do you remember Bill Clinton saying “I have not had sexual relations with that woman?"

With the advent of the Internet, there is a new definition of deception: the affairs through the computer, the infidelity on the internet. Men can have virtual sex with women and vice versa. Appointments can be arranged through an instant messenger, which is much less compromising than the telephone.

Fault 

Here, however, is where you make a difference. There is physical desire versus emotional betrayal. Which one of the two do you think is most important? A man can sleep with a prostitute and after the sexual act is over, make it nothing more than a dim memory. Women generally do not have that capacity.

Ever since the beginning of the world, men and women have fought and have been involved in countless battles that often ended up eroding the relationship. Thus, marriages have crumbled and too much emotional agony has been wasted in resuscitation attempts. Today, there is a crisis in marriage. The crisis has to do with faith, the spouses often wondering if the other is doing something wrong or not.

Finally, the fact remains that men continue to be attracted to other women and indeed, women will continue to feel attracted to other men. When we accept the reality, the society we live in will be transformed into a much more mature one. What will you do about it?

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