Living in a Blended Family: The Great Inconvenience

Living in a blended family causes great inconvenience. We must reconcile the habits and values. But with time, patience, and lots of communication, we can replace old rituals with new ones.

The step family ensures that the children are living with a new sibling, or at least, that they frequently move between two family nuclei. Before the reorganization, the children of both families are happy together. But once under the same roof, the reports can spoil everything. How could it be otherwise! Cohabitation is threatening the child’s position. While a child was the eldest in their original family, they can be the second or even third overnight.

Also, the territory should be developed so that it gives everyone their space. Will the child share the room with another child? The new partners must address these organizational changes in order to better negotiate. We must add that the different values implanted in each family to that.  No one can be completely fulfilled, but compromises may be satisfactory for all, if their needs are met.

Clash of cultures

The spouses have to come to an agreement so that there is harmony between these two worlds. For example, it would be unwise to impose a new type of food on children. This applies even when a parent establishes clear rules for their children and if their new spouse establishes more flexible ones or if these rules are almost non-existent. This situation gives rise to feelings of unfairness and jealousy among the children.

The parent’s role and responsibilities

The parent who has visitation rights after the divorce which occurred given all the divorce grounds in a blended family is often the one who asks their children to conform to rules of discipline and who has problems. However, being too permissive with your own children could also cause problems in the new family.

Regardless of the type of care and time they have to maintain their relationship with their child, a parent must continue to fulfill their responsibilities and play their role. Even if this resumes to giving the child a fixed feeding schedule, to providing sufficient time to sleep, so that this role is not played by the new spouse.

The former part in the new family

A win-win agreement can be established between all members of the family that revolve around the children without advocating a very close relationship between ex-spouses because children make room for everyone.

A parent often fears losing their children’s love when their ex-spouse reforms a couple. They feel stripped of their role as someone else will live with them daily. Yet, it is part of the new family, even if not in the immediate setting. The non-custodial parent, indeed, keeps all their rights and obligations, according to divorce law. They exercise their parental authority and continue to assume a parenting role within the agreement or the divorce decree. They must however respect the boundaries related to the privacy of the couple.

If both former spouses are involved in a reconstructed couple, there must be respect for the two nuclear families in order to enable children to move between the two systems without feeling guilty.