Before the trial separation, you should sign a written contract in which the duration of the structured separation is determined. The minimum period of time recommended is usually six weeks. Then, you have to determine who takes the shared home after that period of time; where the other partner will find shelter; and how are the costs to be covered. Sometimes, this can also lead to a structured separation in the marital home, for example, if you find any cheap shelter. However, this alternative is not recommended.
You should also determine rules for the period of separation. For example, specify that you will have no contact with each other, except during marriage counseling, or that you will arrive home once or twice a week. In the latter case, you can also establish whether and under what conditions you can have sex. In addition, arrangements for contact with the children and family activities are to be made. Select whether you can flirt with third parties during this period and whether you can enter into sexual relationships and you may want to talk about how far you are allowed to go. Also, make sure that spying is prohibited. Finally, it should be established that no final decision should be made about a possible divorce during the trial separation.
During the trial separation, you can make a last attempt to save your marriage because marriage counseling now is not encumbered by previous conflicts and tensions. You have more energy for the meetings and can have more positive experiences during the week without having any negative experience during the week.
You can recognize the benefits of marriage which are now missing during the trial separation, you can make an impression about what your life would be like without the partner and you can look at your situation from a bigger distance and judge it objectively. Meet each other, in addition to marriage counseling, once or twice a week (in a neutral location) and you can find out your feelings for each other for yourself. Determine whether you still love each other and if you do, you can reconcile after the agreed period of separation. It is recommended, however, that you continue the counseling.
Opt for trial separation and it will be easier to divorce if you feel like doing it because of the already acquired spatial and emotional distance. Many arrangements for the trial separation are often updated. Reaching the distance makes it even easier to fully take into account any existent children's interests. In major conflicts or personal problems, you have to verify whether you want to take the offer of a divorce.
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