Parents Must Be Present!

Quebec families are caught in the hustle of modern life: work, household, transportation, training, meals...

All societies have rituals to celebrate a community member’s passage from childhood to adolescence.  After school, our young children often finds themselves very lonely -- detached from the family. The communication between parents and teens has a special importance.

Teens out of the basement

It's tempting as a parent to save a little time and let them "live their lives locked in their room or in the basement with their music, television, friends, and especially their mobile computer… But is that really what they need?

Be present

Parents believe children can manage with their school work, hours of sleep, or hours of output.
Error: the young person is a being that needs changing markers, direction, and limits. Now, you only play your part as a parent if you are present and if you spend quality time together!

Having control of the situation

Your presence brings an automatic control element in your teen’s life. Who tells you that your child does what they have to do when you're at work? Did they bring friends at home at lunchtime or after school? Can they watch TV, play video games or learn the physiological characteristics of human reproduction from the Net?

Also note that some 13 year-olds return home early in the afternoon while their parents come home only early in the evening. Perhaps, it is too much to ask a 13-year-old to take care of themselves for three or four hours a day.

Ceasing the opportunities of communicating

Communication is a skill that requires training and maintenance, just like marriage and divorce. Thus, you have to maximize the opportunities of communicating with your teenager. A child or young person has the functions "pause" or "rewind", just like a machine. You had better be there and available when they are ready to talk, otherwise you'll wait for the next miracle.

Organization of their time

Have you thought about working at home? Can you choose your next job according to the schedule of the company? Do these schedules allow you to combine work and family life? Can the distance between your workplace and your home be reduced to avoid long time lost on the way?

Can you schedule your evenings at home to be with your family? These evenings spent together will save your child from future visits to a therapist.

Entourage: is there a grandmother or a grandfather in the room? If you cannot be present because of work constraints, can a "mom" or "dad" replacement be appointed? Why not ask people around you to watch your children in your absence? An aunt, a neighbor or friend living in your neighborhood can be a great relief. Grandparents often have quality time to offer to your children and their grandchildren and they are in great shape. Why not give them the opportunity to contribute to the well-being of their grandchildren?

A little more family activities

Choose to work evenings or weekends that bring together the interests of all family members. Do you like sports? You need to be in shape: a father and son can subscribe to the same gym and train together.

Are you more into artistic activities than into sports? Visit museums, organize monthly outings to libraries, go to the theater... All excuses are good to promote these parent-teen activities, like bowling, visiting the grandmother, auto repairing, shopping, going to the restaurant activities... We even saw a father and daughter try going to the opera.

The important point is that being with your child and sharing activities with them is a way of maximizing your relationship and the opportunities to communicate with them. It does not really matter what you do together. You can even talk about online divorce if you want, as long as that communication is present.